The average manager waits months before having a performance conversation they should have had in week three. By that point, the team has noticed, the individual has settled into the pattern and the manager is dreading the conversation so much they’d almost rather write a job ad.
You’re not alone in finding this hard. Most managers avoid it for the same reason: nobody ever taught them how to do it well.
Most people don’t avoid performance conversations because they don’t care. It’s because they’re worried about getting it wrong or making things worse, and once that fear takes hold, the issue compounds. The team notices, morale drops, and a problem that was manageable in week three turns into a much bigger deal.
The cost of doing nothing is almost always higher than the cost of having the conversation early, because one uncomfortable 30 minutes now can prevent months of frustration, a formal process and potentially a tribunal claim further down the line.
Key facts at a glance
Before you say anything, get clear on what the gap is. Not a feeling, not a general sense that something isn’t quite right, but something specific: what was expected, what’s happening instead and how big the difference really is.
This matters because vague feedback doesn’t land. Saying “you need to be more proactive” isn’t a performance standard but saying “we agreed you’d reply to client emails within 24 hours and there have been six occasions this month where that hasn’t happened” is.
Once you’re clear on the gap, have the conversation. Keep it private, calm and factual, tell the person what you’ve observed, stick to the specifics and give them the chance to respond, because you might learn something you didn’t know.
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“The most expensive performance conversation is the one you never had.”
From there, the structure that works well is straightforward. Be clear about the gap, explain what good looks like and don’t soften it so much that the message gets lost. Agree a support plan together, whether that’s training, clearer direction or more regular check-ins and write down what you’ve agreed. Set a specific timeframe for improvement (a month is usually a reasonable starting point) and schedule brief catch-ups throughout so you can both track progress.
If things improve, say so. Acknowledging progress matters just as much as calling out the problem in the first place and all of it should be documented as you go rather than reconstructed weeks later from memory.
The ACAS guide to managing performance is worth bookmarking if you haven’t already.
Most performance issues can and should be resolved informally. But if you’ve had the conversations, given proper support, agreed a timeframe and nothing has changed, a formal process may be the right next step. At that point you’re typically looking at a formal performance improvement plan (PIP), followed by a capability procedure if the improvement isn’t made.
The key thing at every stage is that the process is fair, consistent and documented. If you reach a point where dismissal is being considered, an employment tribunal will look carefully at whether you followed a proper process and gave the person a genuine opportunity to improve. For anything involving formal capability proceedings, get HR advice before you act. The ACAS guide to discipline and grievance procedures is useful at this stage.
The managers who handle performance issues well tend to have one thing in common: they deal with things early. They don’t wait until they’re at breaking point or hope the problem resolves itself. Instead, they notice something’s off, check their facts and have the conversation while it’s still small and manageable. That’s a skill and like most management skills, it’s one most people were never properly taught.
Managing underperformance sits at the top of the list of things managers tell us they find hardest. Not because they don’t want to do it right, but because nobody showed them how. That’s exactly why we built the Your Management Toolkit programme and session six covers performance management in full, giving managers a practical framework they can use straight away.
If you’re dealing with a live performance issue right now and need guidance, our HR consultancy team supports organisations across Worcestershire and the UK with practical advice.
Book a free 30-minute discovery call to talk it through with us.
Book a free 30-minute discovery call
About the author
Lisa Murphy FCIPD, CEO and Founder at Limelite HR & Learning. Multi-award winning HR and leadership expert and Fellow of the CIPD, specialising in strategic HR, inclusion and organisational development. Connect on LinkedIn.
As soon as you notice a consistent pattern, not a one off. Waiting makes the conversation harder and makes it more difficult to show the employee what good looked like before things went wrong.
Performance is about capability, the employee isn’t meeting the standard, but there’s no suggestion of deliberate wrongdoing. Conduct is about behaviour, and they’re separate processes, so it matters which one you’re using.
No. Most issues are resolved informally before they reach that stage. A PIP becomes relevant when informal conversations and agreed support haven’t led to improvement.
Yes, but only after a fair process. That includes informal and usually formal stages, documented support and a genuine opportunity to improve. Dismissing without following a proper process is likely to be unfair, regardless of how serious the performance issue is.
Note the date, what was discussed, what was agreed (including any support and the timeframe) and the employee’s response. Keep it factual and brief. You don’t need a transcript, but you do need a record.
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